Struggling

Sometimes we take life for granted.
We often see things as permanent and just look through it without any expectation.
When the things that we usually have is gone, missing from earth, by then we feel the loss.
Eventually.
I feel the same.
I am lost.
The purpose is gone now.
Missing.
My heart is hurt. It's really hurt.
I could't describe it in word nor to show to other how much pain it cause me.
I bear in mind that i need to move on but i couldn't.
My mind was frozen in the past.
Where the memory lane repeat all over again.
It's like playing a musical chair.
You go round and round and round endless.

Sometimes i feel lonely.
My heavy burden i think it won't lift anymore.
Stuck in the moment where my body could not bare the weight anymore.
I was freeze.
With both my mind and body trapped in the past.
It's hurt.
Badly hurt.
I want to shout to the whole world.
Shout and shout until my lung is hurt from the shouting.
But again, i failed to do that.

I live life without any purpose.
Living like a dream.
Breathing like a dream.
I thought every human being as the same.
Like a circus where you read others expression when they are talking.
Like a dream, i walk and always walk but my destination never seem to end.
I was burden with all the assignment, project, the act of human being.
I'm tired with all this.
I need to keep smile, to show that i'm okay but the reality is i am not okay.
Not at all.

The pressure, trapped in the past, the burden, the negativity all ate me once.
I'm lost in my purpose.