View of life

Tomorrow is my last paper. 
MUET paper. 

I adore English and i love it but for a while i think it's harder to even get Band 4 if my language is only the level of the basic. 
I will try harder to achieve Band 6. 
I wish to teach English for kindergarten student.
Yeah, that's my target.
 That's my ambition. 
You can laugh about it but i take the job as a seriously matter. 
I love kids and i love English. 
I want myself to do what i love in the future and not live without any target and ambitious. 


It was hectic nowadays. 
The real exam for this semester 2 is just around the corner. 
Scared but still i just play and not even bother about it.
It's suck because i got the feeling i won't survive this exam . 
Why ?
i don't want to make any excuses but i think my concentration was given 100% to PBS. 
Now, PBS is already finished and i don't know what i learnt or what my teacher teach during the past few month =..=
My brain is freeze and it always blank like white canvas. 
this is not the main topic of the day. 
It's just my current state.
I want to complain because i think blog is the best way how i can express my feeling and i can write whatever i want and no one can report or blame about my post..


i'm at the end of my teenage life. 
I'm turning 19 this year but sometimes act liked a 9 years old girl. 
I'm not matured yet and act liked a kid around my family and friends. 
I don't talk too much in front of stranger and people always misunderstood that. 
They think i am arrogant type. 
It's not that i don't want to talk. 
It just i don't know how to begin the conversation. 
It's kind of awkward and i felt uncomfortable around the people that i don't used to know. 
So, please don't misunderstood me. 
When i was 10 or 11 years old, i don't even think about my view of life and i just enjoy my life as it is. 
But now, everything is different. 
Somehow, i begin to think if my mum and dad leave me alone in this earth, where the place i should depend myself ?
I don't have anybody. 
Seriously, none. 
I'm left alone with myself. 
So, i got to do something within myself and make a wishlist of it to become truth. 

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